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	<title>Talking Cultural Diversity</title>
	<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com</link>
	<description>a discussion board for cultural and diversity issues by Thomas Kochman and Jean Mavrelis</description>
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		<title>Addressing the Cultural Context of STEM Pursuits</title>
		<description><![CDATA[On December 9th, the White House honored twelve individuals as Champions of Change in America. They were recognized for their efforts to recruit and retain women and girls in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields. I am humbled to be selected as one of those twelve individuals and share this honor with numerous mentors [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2012/01/16/addressing-the-cultural-context-of-stem-pursuits/</link>
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		<title>Racial Profiling&#8211;Revisited</title>
		<description><![CDATA[We’re all familiar with stories of black motorists being targeted for special attention by law enforcement agencies, airlines and government agencies. Stories of racial profiling of whites by blacks, however, also occur, especially in sports –the truism or stereotype being that black athletes are superior to white athletes. This was made much of in “White Men Can’t Jump” and was the basis of a “con”, or “hustle”, perpetrated by the characters played by Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson in the movie. Green Bay quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, brought this matter up on his talk show recently as a possible reason why wide receiver Jordy Nelson –who is white—continues to get one-on-one coverage compared to Packer black wide receivers. As is customary when the topic of “race” is offered as a theory or explanation of why something happens, it immediately and automatically gets downplayed by whites, as either being false --it’s dismissively called “playing the race card” by whites at work when blacks bring it up—or, as shown in subsequent media coverage on Rodger's comment, too provocative to discuss, reflecting the U.S. mainstream cultural orientation that puts “peace before truth”. This, in contrast to the more forthright African American cultural orientation that puts “truth before peace”, to which our black colleague often adds, “Without truth there can be no peace.” One could also add, that without “truth” there can also be no further discussion of the topic –a form of putting one’s head in the sand-- a rule of  public social etiquette that disallows, by fiat, any opportunity to explore further what’s “out there,” and “really going on”.
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		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/12/02/racial-profiling-revisited/</link>
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		<title>Barney’s Thanksgiving</title>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s harvest time. Harvest celebrations have been going on as long as there have been people to recognize and ritualize seasons of growth and hibernation of the earth. In the U.S. we have created a myth of pilgrims and Indians coming together to share a feast. It’s a myth that allows Americans to feel good [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/11/24/barney%e2%80%99s-thanksgiving/</link>
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		<title>Friction, Frustration, or Fun</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Ethnic cultural differences within families can be a source of friction, frustration or fun. They usually start out as friction, like deciding upon what time to leave for the airport. My German Jewish side can’t stand being five minutes late. My wife’s position—I’m not sure if this is Irish or just her—can’t stand being five minutes late. Each of us conjures up different worst case scenarios in support of our position. My worst case scenario is fraught with anxiety--that something will happen that we didn’t plan for or expect that will cause us to miss our plane. Her worst case scenario is that we’ll leave too early and get to the airport too soon with nothing worthwhile to do. At issue is our different comfort level around waiting while doing nothing. I’m like the camel. I can turn my motor off. My wife can’t. At best, her  motor is at “idle”: running but not moving. For a sand piper (her kind of animal) that is a clear UGH! [More...] ]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/09/05/friction-frustration-or-fun/</link>
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		<title>Norway Killings – Hatred at its Worst</title>
		<description><![CDATA[As the world received the horrific news of the Norway shootings, my heart was heavy and thinking about the victims and their families.

The tragedy and senseless killings in Norway reminded me of the horrific acts of September 11 and how that point in our history changed our country and our lives. Extremism and hatred are human sicknesses.  Sometimes people with such sickness put a label of religion, political ideology or the likes to give themselves legitimacy. However, as other viruses, extremism and hatred need to be eradicated, as we have done with polio. The terrorist in this case, Mr. Anders Behring Breivikhad had hatred towards Muslims, multiculturalists, feminist women and immigrants. Unfortunately, we also find out that the killer was “inspired” by American bloggers who are anti immigration, anti Muslims, etc.   As an American, I would like to see us instead export the American values of pluralism, equality, and sacredness of lives.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/08/02/norway-killings-%e2%80%93-hatred-at-its-worst/</link>
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		<title>Visit to South Carolina</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Tom and I were in Charleston last week and we went on a Black History Tour.  We were the only white folks on the tour. As always, the Black folks welcomed us, and the tour guide made mention of white folks who helped the cause over the years, starting with the abolitionists. We asked our tour guide if racial attitudes had changed, and he said yes, mostly because of all the northerners who had moved to the area. At least that was his opinion. When I asked if there were many Latinos in the area, he said no, but that there was an area at the hotel we stayed at where eastern European women stayed who were brought over on work permits by a contractor to do domestic work at the hotel. We took a ride out to Sullivan’s Island – where Africans were held in quarantine before being sold into slavery. Gullah low country is where the Stono Rebellion took place and where the Denmark Vesey’s story unfolded. White folks were afraid of the lowlands because of the danger of malaria. Before Africans came to what’s now South Carolina, rice was unknown. Our guide explained that Africans also brought peanuts to America. He also sadly shared that the average life span of a male slave in South Carolina was 32.  It was cheaper to work a man to death than take care of him.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/07/25/visit-to-south-carolina/</link>
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		<title>Do you agree?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Social networks (online) are often more diverse than our &#8220;real world&#8221; networks. It may appear that you have a fairly diverse group of friends on FB, while in real life, you interact with a bunch of people from a similar social and cultural background. Social networks online create opportunity to connect outside of your comfort [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/06/25/do-you-agree/</link>
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		<title>“I Know you Didn’t Mean it, But…”</title>
		<description><![CDATA[If you lead off with the words, “I Know you Didn’t Mean it, But…”, mainstream white folks will stay engaged longer and listen to your complaint or criticism or whatever you want them to listen to, without automatically shutting down, because you have protected their self image as a good person. This often doesn’t work with members of other groups however. For example, the other day I was speaking to a black woman who was frustrated with a white woman at work.  The white woman introduced her black colleague to her class by using her first and last name, instead of calling her “Dr. ____” They ended up no longer on speaking terms because the black woman had called out the white woman on what she did. I offered cultural information: “You could have avoided this break in the relationship by starting your criticism of the white woman with ‘I know you didn’t mean it, but….’” The black woman said, following her own African American cultural prescript that infers motive from what was said and done, “I’m not willing to do that, if she didn’t mean it, she wouldn’t have done it.” Integrity is at stake for both women. The white woman felt that she was maligned by the Black woman characterizing what she did as “racist”. The black woman felt disrespected by the failure of the white woman to acknowledge her position and degree—a serious omission for her and blacks generally. She also felt –this is where race comes into it—the same mistake would not have happened if the white women were introducing a white male colleague to her class. 
She was also not willing to try to repair the situation –again a matter of personal integrity and maybe also pride--because she feels her colleague should be the one to take responsibility for what happened—after all, she was the one that made the “mistake”—whether she meant it or not. The white woman in turn probably feels that what her black colleague did --confronting her directly and characterizing what she did as “racist” -- as much worse than what she did. From her perspective, it should be the black woman who should apologize to her, not the other way around. And so another impasse and break in relationship triggered by a failure on both sides to fully understand what is going on for the other person and probably also for themselves.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/06/24/%e2%80%9ci-know-you-didn%e2%80%99t-mean-it-but%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/</link>
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		<title>It Gets Better</title>
		<description><![CDATA[While watching evening TV with my kids recently, I’ve come across a 90-second spot called It Gets Better sponsored by Google. It features a number of different pop culture celebrities and other not so well known people addressing the fact that being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender gets better as you get older.  The call to action is stated on the project's website . “Many LGBT youth can’t picture what their lives might be like as openly gay adults.  They can’t imagine a future for themselves.  So let’s show them what our lives are like, let’s show them what the future may hold in store for them.” The TV commercial spawned several conversations with my kids, niece and nephew about how being gay is in high school today is different than it was when I was in school twenty-plus years ago. Then I asked one of my dearest friends from high school, who has been with her partner for 17 years – “has it gotten better?”  Her response was so insightful I’m compelled to share it here:]]></description>
		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/05/20/it-gets-better/</link>
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		<title>No Questions Asked</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I'm on the wedding circuit these days, or maybe I should say I'm on the commitment ceremony circuit. For whatever reason, many of my LGBT friends have decide to publicly declare their unions this spring, despite the fact that most of the states they live in do not recognize same-sex marriage. For the latest ceremony in late April I drove 12 hours south of DC to Atlanta, a city I lived in for 10 years and still consider one of my homes. I took my two sons, 12 and 8, on the long drive. It is important to know here that while I've been attending these events, this was a first for my offspring. There we were sitting in a beautiful backyard in Atlanta on a warm spring afternoon, flowers surrounding us, old friends greeting me and marveling at how much the children had grown. We sat down, the music started, the flower girls entered and then it hit me. I hadn't told the boys that two women were getting married. What would their reaction be? Could I quietly prepare them now in this confined space, surrounded by people? The answer was no, and I had to wait to see what would happen. What happened was this... NOTHING. They seemed not to notice, or if they did they didn't care or see it worthy of comment. They only saw two people standing in front of them declaring their love and commitment. There were no questions asked then or later, or comments made. They were perfect little gentlemen during the ceremony and danced and laughed with everyone at the reception. I wish I could say that it was my excellent parenting and open mindedness that made that the case, but I would be over reaching. Because let's face it, plenty of my loving and open minded contemporaries pelted me with honest and curious questions like: Did they both wear dresses? Was one more like a bride and the other more like a groom? Were most of the guests LGBT? What was it like?
None of these are bad questions, or mean-spirited. My generation of 40-somethings is simply still developing a picture of what all this looks like. And I'm sure on some level my children are too, but for them it just is.

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		<link>http://www.talkingculturaldiversity.com/index.php/2011/05/16/no-questions-asked/</link>
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