a discussion board for cultural and diversity issues by Thomas Kochman and Jean Mavrelis
By Angela Byars-Winston - 01.16.2012
On December 9th, the White House honored twelve individuals as Champions of Change in America.
They were recognized for their efforts to recruit and retain women and girls in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields.
I am humbled to be selected as one of those twelve individuals and share this honor with numerous mentors and colleagues with whom I have had the tremendous opportunity to collaborate on research.
Two years ago, President Obama’s Educate to Innovate campaign was launched to improve the nation’s participation in STEM, particularly for youth.
Among the three pillars of this campaign is the commitment to “expand STEM education and career opportunities for underrepresented groups, including women and girls.”
My scholarship supports this third pillar by contributing research evidence to the STEM discourse on the impact of cultural factors on academic and career outcomes…. Read more »
By Thomas Kochman - 12.02.2011
We’re all familiar with stories of black motorists being targeted for special attention by law enforcement agencies, airlines and government agencies.
Stories of racial profiling of whites by blacks, however, also occur, especially in sports –the truism or stereotype being that black athletes are superior to white athletes.
This was made much of in “White Men Can’t Jump” and was the basis of a “con”, or “hustle”, perpetrated by the characters played by Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson in the movie.
Green Bay quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, brought this matter up on his talk show recently as a possible reason why wide receiver Jordy Nelson –who is white—continues to get one-on-one coverage compared to Packer black wide receivers.
As is customary when the topic of “race” is offered as a theory or explanation of why something happens, it immediately and automatically gets downplayed, as either being false –it’s dismissively called “playing the race card” by whites at work when blacks bring it up—or, as shown in subsequent media coverage on Rodger’s comment, too provocative to discuss, reflecting the U.S. mainstream cultural orientation that puts “peace before truth”.
This, in contrast to the more forthright African American cultural orientation that puts “truth before peace”, to which our black colleague often adds, “Without truth there can be no peace.”
One could also add, that without “truth” there can also be no further discussion of the topic –a form of putting one’s head in the sand– a rule of public social etiquette that disallows, by fiat, any opportunity to explore further what’s “out there,” and “really going on”. Read more »
By Jean Mavrelis - 11.24.2011
It’s harvest time. Harvest celebrations have been going on as long as there have been people to recognize and ritualize seasons of growth and hibernation of the earth.
In the U.S. we have created a myth of pilgrims and Indians coming together to share a feast.
It’s a myth that allows Americans to feel good about themselves coming to settle indigenous land.
I prefer to celebrate this holiday in a more basic way. For me, it’s a holiday that celebrates eating. I am thankful for food and the ability to smell and taste and eat it.
I have hanging in my kitchen a framed saying I picked up at an antique fair that says: “Some ha’e meat that canna eat, And some wad eat that want (need)it; But we ha’e meat, an’ we can eat, so let the Lord be thankit.”
I remember a thanksgiving when my Dad found a way to taste food. While battling cancer he had the roof of his mouth, part of his tongue, and a section of his jaw bone removed, along with his epiglottal nerve, which allows you to swallow.
He refused to have a permanent food tube inserted through his nose, which would allow him to pour cans of liquid food into his stomach.
Amazing man, my father, he had been a medic during WWII and wasn’t one to be squeamish.
Instead, he fashioned a contraption out of a douche bag with a thin tube attached. He would blenderize whatever delicious food my Mom or he cooked, and then would run the tube connected to the bag under warm water, and put it through his nose into his throat.
Then he’d pour in the food. He’d pat his stomach and say, “mmmm, that was delicious.”
One thanksgiving day he was determined to taste. He filled a cup with borscht, sour cream, and onions. He poured it back and forth from cup to cup to get any air bubbles out. Then he tipped back his head and poured. Down it went.
With tears streaming down his face, he literally fell to his knees. After that, he would have his daily draught of dark beer after pouring the contents from glass to glass to remove the bubbles.
My Dad, Barney Goldstein, had a tavern. People would come from far and wide to meet him, because he would never let life get him down. He’d point a finger and say, “Life is Good”.
So, this Thanksgiving, instead of imagining the myth of pilgrims and Indians, I suggest we all respectfully deal with the truth – whatever that means for each of us.
Dad always said, “The key to life is acceptance”. It helps to remember that, as life changes, and we sometimes long for an idyllic past.
And if you can, take the time to really taste the food you are enjoying!
By Thomas Kochman - 09.05.2011
Ethnic cultural differences within families can be a source of friction, frustration or fun.
They usually start out as friction, like deciding upon what time to leave for the airport.
My German Jewish side can’t stand being five minutes late.
My wife’s position—I’m not sure if this is Irish or just her—can’t stand being five minutes early.
Each of us conjures up different worst case scenarios in support of our position.
My worst case scenario is fraught with anxiety–that something will happen that we didn’t plan for or expect that will cause us to miss our plane.
Her worst case scenario is that we’ll leave too early and get to the airport too soon with nothing worthwhile to do.
At issue, also, is our different comfort level around waiting while doing nothing.
I’m like the camel. I can turn my motor off.
My wife can’t.
At best, her motor is at “idle”: running but not moving.
For a sand piper (her kind of animal) that is a clear UGH! Read more »
By Soumaya Khalifa - 08.02.2011
As the world received the horrific news of the Norway shootings, my heart was heavy and thinking about the victims and their families.
The tragedy and senseless killings in Norway reminded me of the horrific acts of September 11 and how that point in our history changed our country and our lives.
Extremism and hatred are human sicknesses. Sometimes people with such sickness put a label of religion, political ideology or the likes to give themselves legitimacy.
However, as other sicknesses, extremism and hatred need to be eradicated, as we have done with polio.
The terrorist in this case, Mr. Anders Behring Breivikhad had hatred towards Muslims, multiculturalists, feminist women and immigrants.
Unfortunately, we also find out that the killer was “inspired” by American bloggers who are anti immigration, anti Muslims, etc. As an American, I would like to see us instead export the American values of pluralism, equality, and sacredness of lives.
To build a stronger America and world, we need to learn about each other as human beings, to appreciate our differences and build stronger communities utilizing our differences and similarities.
As we work towards educating and building understanding, I am praying for love and peace around the world.
By Jean Mavrelis - 07.25.2011
Tom and I were in Charleston last week and we went on a Black History Tour. We were the only white folks on the tour.
As always, the Black folks welcomed us, and the tour guide made mention of white folks who helped the cause over the years, starting with the abolitionists.
We asked our tour guide if racial attitudes had changed, and he said yes, mostly because of all the northerners who had moved to the area. At least that was his opinion.
When I asked if there were many Latinos in the area, he said no, but that there was an area at the hotel we stayed at where eastern European women stayed who were brought over on work permits by a contractor to do domestic work at the hotel.
We took a ride out to Sullivan’s Island – where Africans were held in quarantine before being sold into slavery.
Gullah low country is where the Stono Rebellion took place and where Denmark Vesey’s story unfolded.
White folks were afraid of the lowlands because of the danger of malaria. Before Africans came to what’s now South Carolina, rice was unknown. Our guide explained that Africans also brought peanuts to America.
He also sadly shared that the average life span of a male slave in South Carolina was 32. It was cheaper to work a man to death than take care of him. Read more »
By Jean Mavrelis - 06.25.2011
Social networks (online) are often more diverse than our “real world” networks.
It may appear that you have a fairly diverse group of friends on FB, while in real life, you interact with a bunch of people from a similar social and cultural background.
Social networks online create opportunity to connect outside of your comfort zone. We are able to witness the same “human” elements on everyone’s FB page.
Your Black friend’s FB isn’t all that different from your Asian friend – baby pics, head cold complaints, financial issues, article sharing, etc.
We are all so similar when you get down to the base ingredients of how we spend our days.
The computer/mobile screen allows for a more global community to exist.
By Jean Mavrelis - 06.24.2011
If you lead off with these words, mainstream white folks will stay engaged longer and listen to your complaint or criticism or whatever you want them to listen to, without automatically shutting down, because you have protected their self image as a good person.
Use of this strategy is often problematic for members of other groups however.
For example, the other day I was speaking to a black woman who was frustrated with a white woman at work. The white woman introduced her black colleague to her class by using her first and last name, instead of calling her “Dr. ____”
They ended up no longer on speaking terms because the black woman had called out the white woman on what she did.
I offered cultural information: “You could have avoided this break in the relationship by starting your criticism of the white woman with ‘I know you didn’t mean it, but….’”
The black woman said, following her own African American cultural prescript that infers motive from what was said and done, “I’m not willing to do that, if she didn’t mean it, she wouldn’t have done it.”
Integrity is at stake for both women.
The white woman felt that she was maligned by the Black woman characterizing what she did as “racist”.
The black woman felt disrespected by the failure of the white woman to acknowledge her position and degree—a serious omission for her and blacks generally.
She also felt –this is where race comes into it—the same mistake would not have happened if the white woman were introducing a white male colleague to her class.
She was also not willing to try to repair the situation –again a matter of personal integrity and maybe also pride–because she feels her colleague should be the one to take responsibility for what happened—after all, she was the one that made the “mistake”—whether she meant it or not.
The white woman in turn probably feels that what her black colleague did –confronting her directly and characterizing what she did as “racist” — as much worse than what she did. From her perspective, it should be the black woman who should apologize to her, not the other way around.
And so another impasse and break in relationship triggered by a failure on both sides to fully understand what is going on for the other person and probably also for themselves. Read more »
By Kimberly Lord - 05.20.2011
While watching evening TV with my kids recently, I’ve come across a 90-second spot called It Gets Better sponsored by Google. It features a number of different pop culture celebrities and other not so well known people addressing the fact that being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender gets better as you get older. The call to action is stated on the project’s website . “Many LGBT youth can’t picture what their lives might be like as openly gay adults. They can’t imagine a future for themselves. So let’s show them what our lives are like, let’s show them what the future may hold in store for them.”
The TV commercial spawned several conversations with my kids, niece and nephew about how being gay is in high school today is different than it was when I was in school twenty-plus years ago. Then I asked one of my dearest friends from high school, who has been with her partner for 17 years – “has it gotten better?” Her response was so insightful I’m compelled to share it here:
I had no knowledge that living with a woman would be in my future when I was in high school, so I didn’t have the hard high school experience as many do. I did struggle enormously with my new-found “identity” when I realized I might be gay.
It took me about ten years to come through that process and land where I am now, by which I mean, fully accepting of myself, happy, healthy and completely at ease with the world. When I think of why it’s gotten better, there are two components: Society is more accepting and I am fully out.
Society is more accepting: While it’s certainly true that the fundamentalists continue to raise holy hell about the evils of homosexuality, for the most part it has gotten infinitely better in terms of people being more accepting of gay and lesbians than ever before. A defining moment for me was when Ellen came out publicly in 1997. I had just started my first corporate job and was out personally but very closeted professionally. I couldn’t ever imagine being out at work.
Since then, we’ve seen infinitely more gay images (Will and Grace, Modern Family, every reality show has the requisite gay) and I think people are just more accepting that gay people exist and bring some value (even if you wouldn’t necessarily want to have your kid be one – we get that a lot) it’s just more accepted.
Additionally, a lot more people live “out” now than did in 1988 and I think as a result there is a whole generation of kids who’ve grown up with gay aunts and uncles (thinking of my own adult nieces/nephews) for whom being gay is really just not an issue.
My own neighborhood is a great testament to the tolerance and acceptance among many people. It’s not everywhere, but the parents in our neighborhood not only accept, but encourage interaction with their kids. I think those views are reflected in generational polls. So it really has gotten better since 1988 in terms of the acceptance among society at large. Read more »
By Sue Hoye - 05.16.2011
I’m on the wedding circuit these days, or maybe I should say I’m on the commitment ceremony circuit. For whatever reason, many of my LGBT friends have decide to publicly declare their unions this spring, despite the fact that most of the states they live in do not recognize same-sex marriage.
For the latest ceremony in late April I drove 12 hours south of DC to Atlanta, a city I lived in for 10 years and still consider one of my homes. I took my two sons, 12 and 8, on the long drive. We had hours and hours to fill and we managed just fine. We talked about their love of the Chicago Bulls and their adoration of the #1 Derrick Rose.
They peppered me with so many basketball facts I could call a game myself now. But the NBA wasn’t the only topic. We talked about school, the Waffle House (they love a place with waffle in the name), why they can sell fireworks in South Carolina (they love the idea of blowing things up), and a million other random subjects. The one thing we never discussed was the commitment ceremony they were about to attend. I can’t say why, it just never came up.
It is important to know here that while I’ve been attending these events, this was a first for my offspring. There we were sitting in a beautiful backyard in Atlanta on a warm spring afternoon, flowers surrounding us, old friends greeting me and marveling at how much the children had grown. We sat down, the music started, the flower girls entered and then it hit me. I hadn’t told the boys that two women were getting married. What would their reaction be? Could I quietly prepare them now in this confined space, surrounded by people? The answer was no, and I had to wait to see what would happen. Read more »
